Friday, April 30, 2010

To Have and To Hold

Last night was another banner evening in the Scroggs household.  My dear husband, Jeff, is struggling for the second time this year with severe back pain.  It pretty much ensures his night will be spent on the floor, where there is more support for his back.  I toss and turn the night away, keeping an ear out for E, knowing that if she wakes in the night I’m tucking her back in. 

This morning, around 4:30, E shrieked from her crib.  It wasn’t a frightened cry, it was a loud “MOMMY!!”  I struggled from my lonely place in bed, careful not to disrupt Jeff, who’d finally found comfort in sleep.  I entered E’s room, where she was standing in the bed, and proudly announced “I pottied mommy!”  E always says what she’s thinking.  After stripping the sheets, changing a diaper, and finding her Ariel pj’s I was very ready to go back to bed.  E wasn’t. 

Too tired to fight a battle, E and I made the walk to mommy’s bedroom, where we settled in for some more snoozing.  We snuggled under the covers, shared a pillow, and I started to close my eyes.  That was when E reached over and put her little two year old hand on my cheek, and said “I ove you mommy,” and then closed her eyes to sleep.  I teared up and thought “E always says what she’s thinking.”

I didn’t sleep much.  I laid there instead and looked at this incredible little gift beside me and thought about the joys of motherhood, and how they happen at the most unexpected times.  It was like the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said “hold these things in your heart.”  You mommies reading might be at the end of your rope, but know this, our heavenly Father knows a thing or two about being a parent.  He has a son too, you know.  Trust in Him and know that He will give you exactly what you need when you need it. 

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